"The Great Mental Crisis - Part I - Hell with WORK !!"

Dear All,
Sorry for not using this blog for a long time. The reasons are pretty genuine and straight forward though. I have been going through one very bad phase of my life for a long time.. for about an year to be precise... I dont have a problem with my Health, Money or Food. I dont have a problem with people around me.. I dont have a problem with the way the world is treating me... but then you can ask me " What the F*** is your exact problem then?? " .. i can tell you.. "not knowing the exact answer to that question" is the exact problem.. yup.. thats the best way i can explain whats bothering my interests in Life currently!! Seriously.. i still remember the period between 2001 to 2005... not one single day in those 4 years has been so long and boring like how i feel almost everyday now !! I curse the messy work routine for this state of mine.. Having passed out of college as a "Great Gold Medal Stud With a fine Attitude" a year back , i am now a "Totally Confused and Bored Java,Struts,Hibernate Resource With No Sense of Time and No Time for People"... This is not what i wanted... Thanks to the big circle of friends i have got.. They are the only ones who keep me going fine and thats why i am able to Blog from Work on a nice weekday... Its not that i am jobless here at work.. but the fact is that , I got into a great rare project where a fresher could learn every possible hot and happening technology he/she would never have dreamt of learning.. Struts, Hibernate, Spring, AJAX using a UNIX-JBoss Server and involving several external systems like Billing, Order Management, CRM and what not !!... sorry for all those Jargons.. i was basically trying to tell you the extent of learning that i did.. and all in one line.. thats why !! now..coming back to the crux of the topic.. when you learn so much.. you dont get "Gold Medals at Work" like in college.. you only get "MORE WORK"... when they talk lots about your skills it only means they have a wreckless number of tasks specially piled up for you.. When you try to be a "Smart Worker" (like me) instead of being a "Hard Worker" (people who slog to give their life and soul to the functionality).. you get to discover that managers are "Smarter Workers".. If i complete a task assigned to me in a given time or before estimated time (which is usually wrong).. You are most likely to be given one more bigger task to be completed before the previously estimated time itself.. so.. Having been through such thoroughly proffessional moments in life, I discovered that "more than being smart, one needs to be politically smart too".. now that i am an experienced developer and that i have become a critical resource in my project.. i am able to control the rate of flow of input tasks that come to me using my "Political Smartness" and thats how i find time to blog oin a busy thursday morning when Clients are screaming at production failures!! The net effect of the work routin and all this.. I am now unable to plan anything for my future.. I planned the GRE, booked the date, postponed it and finally cancelled it to save atleast $50.. so that flopped 2 years back.. I planned the CAT.. i have around 20kg of study material for CAT alone.. (you read it right) I have multiple copies of the same book passed on by my cousins one by one.. then finally when i started planning, i was deputed to Hyderabad by my employer on client side work... and now the application form for CAT 2006 is still in my cup-board.. Now, "i am planning to plan something with a proper plan" !! I have a feeling i have become ineffecient in everything else other than the technologies learnt and code with which i spend 12 hours a day on an average.. I know a lot of my friends would feel the same.. but may be not as much as me !! Thats a short report on the "Story of a Bright Student turning into a Wreckless Software Professional.. ".. expect some more in the near future...